[ When the body went away, that's when he knew Carlos would come back. When the body went away, that's when Jesse knew he'd have to go back to that room and sit alone with what he'd done. With everything that happened in just one, very long day. Not truly alone, because people are always milling about housing blocks, but he got so used to Carlos being around that he's scared to go back.
Without meaning to, without really thinking about it, he's following Cecil instead of going back. Like he's lost at sea and this is the only liferaft he can see right now. Cecil turns, begins speaking-- and it's too much. He presses fingertips to his eyelids and shakes his head. ] Yo, um...
[ He can't stand talking about it or hearing apologies from Cecil when he made a fatal error in that room, false responsibility or no. Where he comes from scientists are human, not completely self-reliant beings the way Carlos and Cecil talk about them, and sometimes they need other people to act quick on their behalves or save their lives. His hands move to his shoulders and he speaks past what Cecil is saying, urging past it with a shaky but stronger voice. ]
Can I, um, hang out with you? Go back to your place or wherever? Just, you don't gotta do anything, just... y'know.
[ Not even addressing it, in the end. Unspoken: he needs this, more than Cecil does. And he knows it. He knows exactly what will happen if he responds with it's fine, it's okay and fucks off on his own. He'll be snorting a line within the hour. ]
no subject
Without meaning to, without really thinking about it, he's following Cecil instead of going back. Like he's lost at sea and this is the only liferaft he can see right now. Cecil turns, begins speaking-- and it's too much. He presses fingertips to his eyelids and shakes his head. ] Yo, um...
[ He can't stand talking about it or hearing apologies from Cecil when he made a fatal error in that room, false responsibility or no. Where he comes from scientists are human, not completely self-reliant beings the way Carlos and Cecil talk about them, and sometimes they need other people to act quick on their behalves or save their lives. His hands move to his shoulders and he speaks past what Cecil is saying, urging past it with a shaky but stronger voice. ]
Can I, um, hang out with you? Go back to your place or wherever? Just, you don't gotta do anything, just... y'know.
[ Not even addressing it, in the end. Unspoken: he needs this, more than Cecil does. And he knows it. He knows exactly what will happen if he responds with it's fine, it's okay and fucks off on his own. He'll be snorting a line within the hour. ]