[Joel has thought long and hard about how to approach this - there's no good way to do it, he knows that for goddamn sure. 'Sorry I tortured you and would've murdered you if my daughter hadn't shown up'. Yeah, that'd go down well.
But he has to say something, he owes the guy that much. Never let it be said that Joel shies away from doing unpleasant things.]
I don't know your name, but I did a terrible thing to you, and I owe you an explanation - and an apology. [His voice is downright brusque, today, businesslike and detached, very different from the low, terrible anger of a few days ago.]
Yao messed with my head the other day. They do that. They made me forget where I was, so I thought I was somewhere else. With bad people. Real bad people. [He thinks back to Colorado, and almost says evil, though that's not really a word he trucks with much.] I thought you were one of 'em. It's not an excuse, just an explanation. I'm sorry for what I did, for whatever that's worth, and I can promise it won't happen again.
[ A short whip of fear at the sound of this voice. It comes and it goes.
Jesse listens to the whole thing, soaking it in because it is, honestly, fascinating. He's seen three sides to this person in such a short time: killer, father, businessman. Ironing out rough edges, that's all this guy is doing. He's making sure a bad trip Yao sent him on doesn't come back to bite him in the ass.
Not that Jesse presents much of a threat (that anyone knows or could guess about), but you can never be too careful. It won't happen again - that's almost funny. No, wait, it is funny. ]
Whatever. [ A hollow laugh. ] Shit happens, right? No need for the sales pitch, man, my scrawny ass ain't goin' up against you.
[ But he does ask, with genuine concern: ] Is your kid okay?
There's no pitch. [He's less worried about the guy coming after him than he is about him coming after Sarah to get to him, or something.
But the question gives him pause, and there's silence for a moment on Joel's end, because the last thing he expected from this guy was that. Concern for his kid? Concern for the child of the man who was prepared to kill him?]
[ Jesse knows men like this, or he thinks he does. They turn it on and off whenever it benefits them the most. No pitch?
Not what he expected either. He muses on that for a second, thinks on what the definition of real bad people must be for this man. He knows some real bad people and he counts himself among them; he's killed before, too.
But some innocent little girl, crying at the sight of her father with blood on his hands, he can't get that image out of his head. She has to live with that now. They both do. ]
Good. I-- [ He halts, a sigh stopping him for a moment. He doesn't need to work hard to be totally sincere, because he is. ] I mean, I would never hurt a little kid. For like, revenge. So you don't gotta worry about that, if that's what this is about.
[Yeah, it's a little surprising. Some people draw those lines, but not everyone does, in his experience.
There are two kinds of people in Joel's world: those who do what they have to do, like him, to survive, and those who enjoy it. The ones who use the necessity as an excuse to hurt and take pleasure in the act.
He rarely thinks in terms of 'good' and 'evil', but he doesn't kid himself that there are monsters with human faces. Maybe this guy isn't one of them, though.]
Alright, then. That's all. You don't have to worry about me, either. [Since they can't exactly go their separate ways and expect to never see each other again. Haven isn't like that. Inevitably, they'll see each other again. Probably often.]
[ Jesse sounds a bit like a kid himself now, worrying at his lower lip in real time. Yao messing with their memories -- it could happen to him someday, he knows. ]
It was like you were trying to, uh, find someone, or protect someone.
[ His first guess had been Sarah, but later, after the shock wore off, he caught on that she didn't match the description; red hair, green eyes, cusses a lot. Something like that. He wonders if he'll be indulged or brushed off, if the dude really means it when he says that he's sorry and owes Jesse an explanation.
[That at least is true. Joel isn't a talker by nature - sometimes he'll lie to protect someone, or lie by omittance, but when he says something directly, when he offers something up, he always means it.]
Like I said, I thought I was somewhere else. I thought someone I cared about was in trouble. I don't do that stuff for fun.
[ Okay. Well. That just brings up a whole host a new questions, such as: what the fuck kinda life you lead where that's part of your routine? ]
But you're pretty good at it.
[ He feels like he's earned that one, so he lets out some nasty undertones with it. What he says next is less sarcastic and more curious. ]
Must be some real bad people you were with.
[ A beat. He's right, after all, that it's a small population at Haven. They'll run into each other again and they need to know where they stand with each other after this. ]
Um, hi. [An unsure pause. She'd rather not start a conversation with 'sorry my dad tried to kill you.'] I just wanted to make sure you're okay. After, um, everything.
[ ... aw, man. Jesse sighs, scrubbing a hand over the back of his head. Out of the three of them, he feels for her the most. Not just for what she'd seen, but because that was her dad. It's gotta be some royally messed up shit to stumble on your dad knifing some stranger.
It's not her fault. It's not even Joel's fault, from what he's hearing, but if it wasn't for Sarah he wouldn't consider that angle for a second. ]
I'm good. [ Psh, it's nothing. ] Totally cool. I got fixed up, no problem.
Well, Joel, I'd say you owe me one and leave it at that.
[ Sincere apologies and explanations are actually much more than he expected to get, so Jesse tries it, because he might as well. Pushing his luck? Why not. His world ain't a nice place, but neither is Haven. Guys like this are useful in a tough spot.
So he buries whatever anger he's got for the opportunity of doing business. It's not like this is the first time he's almost died. ]
Nah-- [ Ugh, that hand is scrubbing over the other side of his face now. ] It was, like, a misunderstanding. It was a misunderstanding, no big deal. Your dad, he just got confused. That's all.
[ Yeah, he can imagine the things Joel has been called. ]
I'd be a dick to do that.
[ He swings back, effortlessly, more honestly. There's more commentary he could add, tactless and stupid commentary, but he decides to be careful. Not to mention, Joel is actually being sincere.
God, that's almost more off-putting than the drive-by stabbing. He's so normal now, polite and measured. Offering help. ]
She seemed, uh, pretty scared. I ain't gonna make it worse on her, man.
[ They've gotta come from someplace bad, or pretty messed up, for this kid to be so sweet while Joel is so... not. It's confusing. Jesse decides to go out on a limb and try and fit the pieces together through Sarah. ]
Y'know, he told me the same thing, but honestly, I don't get it. [ Still gentle. ] I mean, I believe him, but-- I don't really know what happened, I think. You guys okay?
[ He doesn't know how else to ask. What makes your father so terrifying? is not an easy question to ask. ]
[Sarah has no idea how to explain any of it to Jesse. She doesn't understand it herself.]
He forgot Haven and thought he was back home. He doesn't tell me much; all I know is that the world has gotten tough since the outbreak. That-- [She takes a deep breath.] -- that sometimes people are the monsters more than the Infected are.
[ Tentative, because yeah, it sounds bad. Please don't tell him that this story involves legit monsters, like Haven's already got. ]
Infected - what's, what's that?
[ But she's just a little kid. His natural curiosity, his often tactless curiosity, is tampered by the anxiety he feels at forcing her to revisit potentially bad memories. Jesse rubs at his mouth before he suddenly rescinds the questions. ]
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