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IC CONTACT
"Yo, there's no beep on this thing."
[ VOICE, VIDEO, ACTION ]
"Yo, there's no beep on this thing."
[ VOICE, VIDEO, ACTION ]
[ Fuck. ]
Of course, yeah, of course he will -- that's how it works around here. He'll be back in no time. [ Did Carlos say boyfriend? It flies over Jesse's head for the moment, a creature of emotion first and foremost always. The reassurances are breathy, rushed. He's sensitive to just about everything about this... the blood and the stench of it, the killing, the dying, missing someone. ] But --
[ Why did Carlos have to kill him? It's a question he's reluctant to ask. He stalls. ]
Jesus, that's... [ Nothing but an apologetic exhale in the end, words failing him. He doesn't know Cecil very well (and honestly gets the creeps from him on a regular basis) but what a shitty situation, one Haven probably forced them into. Christ.
... boyfriend?? ]
Of course, yeah, of course he will -- that's how it works around here. He'll be back in no time. [ Did Carlos say boyfriend? It flies over Jesse's head for the moment, a creature of emotion first and foremost always. The reassurances are breathy, rushed. He's sensitive to just about everything about this... the blood and the stench of it, the killing, the dying, missing someone. ] But --
[ Why did Carlos have to kill him? It's a question he's reluctant to ask. He stalls. ]
Jesus, that's... [ Nothing but an apologetic exhale in the end, words failing him. He doesn't know Cecil very well (and honestly gets the creeps from him on a regular basis) but what a shitty situation, one Haven probably forced them into. Christ.
... boyfriend?? ]
[He does not know that Jesse and Cecil have met, know one another's names, or have exchanged a slightly meta and very disturbing conversation. He does not know that Jesse is homophobic, and he honestly would not care if he did.
Not now.
His knuckles are white where they are gripping the radio, where they hold to the lifeline of crackling and spitting nothingness that tie Cecil to this place.]
He will. He must, because he said that he would. He chose this death, he asked me to kill him, because he knew that he would return. He knew that his binding and restrictive contract would benefit him, it would bring him back faster, it would make his pain stop. So... so he must. He must.
Not now.
His knuckles are white where they are gripping the radio, where they hold to the lifeline of crackling and spitting nothingness that tie Cecil to this place.]
He will. He must, because he said that he would. He chose this death, he asked me to kill him, because he knew that he would return. He knew that his binding and restrictive contract would benefit him, it would bring him back faster, it would make his pain stop. So... so he must. He must.
[ That's messed up. Really messed up. Jesse looks down, lets go of Carlos' shoulder and rubs the blood between his fingers away. ]
He'll be back. [ And he looks back up, nodding determinedly. He still feels sick and this new information doesn't help him mask it, but he's not about to just leave Carlos on his own with this. ] You did him a favor. He asked you to.
[ From the sound of it, Cecil was suffering and Carlos made the difficult choice about putting him down. ]
I seen guys spring back up all the time, and I was dead before too. He'll be back.
He'll be back. [ And he looks back up, nodding determinedly. He still feels sick and this new information doesn't help him mask it, but he's not about to just leave Carlos on his own with this. ] You did him a favor. He asked you to.
[ From the sound of it, Cecil was suffering and Carlos made the difficult choice about putting him down. ]
I seen guys spring back up all the time, and I was dead before too. He'll be back.
We have all been dead before.
[His voice loses some of the pleading intensity that it had gained when the grief for Cecil needed an outlet. It becomes quieter, and a little calmer. A calm gained by falling back on the comforting support of science.]
Death is an absence of life, it is defined by a lack of heartbeat, of breathing, of pulse. Before the particular egg and the particular sperm bearing our DNA collided, we all exhibited these signs of death, these signs of an absence of life. But we have not all been dead such as is so common here, a more violent and bloody death, with a different sort of rebirth.
But... there is a rebirth. And Cecil has told me before, more than once, that his contracted employment with the ever present and often ominous Yao Corporation would afford him a definite and swift revival.
[His voice loses some of the pleading intensity that it had gained when the grief for Cecil needed an outlet. It becomes quieter, and a little calmer. A calm gained by falling back on the comforting support of science.]
Death is an absence of life, it is defined by a lack of heartbeat, of breathing, of pulse. Before the particular egg and the particular sperm bearing our DNA collided, we all exhibited these signs of death, these signs of an absence of life. But we have not all been dead such as is so common here, a more violent and bloody death, with a different sort of rebirth.
But... there is a rebirth. And Cecil has told me before, more than once, that his contracted employment with the ever present and often ominous Yao Corporation would afford him a definite and swift revival.
[ Woken from slumber and bleary-eyed, it takes him a second to recognize the face through his squinting. But the as soon he does... Jesse sits up pretty quick! He checks the door before answering out of a survival instinct, mouth hanging open. Why would someone who had once threatened to kill him be calling him at 3 in the freaking AM?
Should he answer? What should he do? Is this like the movie Scream? Is he Drew Barrymore? ]
... [ Click. ] What?
Should he answer? What should he do? Is this like the movie Scream? Is he Drew Barrymore? ]
... [ Click. ] What?
[ Kamui had actually rolled onto his own phone and accidentally selected Jesse in his contact list, which explains the call. He's actually asleep, as most people are at this time.
So all you get is a pitch black, and what appears to be shifting. It has folds, like cloth. There's also .......... breathing ...............
Which may be a little creepy. ]
So all you get is a pitch black, and what appears to be shifting. It has folds, like cloth. There's also .......... breathing ...............
Which may be a little creepy. ]
[ 'Asshole' is right. At the shouting, Kamui finally stirs. Why is there a familiar voice somewhere? Yet, upon inspection, only Abuto can be found in their room.
There's a light illuminating his, uh, ass. Oh, he's in the middle of a call? Kamui shifts, and Jesse will finally get a view of him from below. Yup, that was a buttdial. ]
Huh? It's you. [ He rubs his eyes, yawning and ignoring the shouting for the most part. What is this guy's name though??? ] You want to chat at this hour?
There's a light illuminating his, uh, ass. Oh, he's in the middle of a call? Kamui shifts, and Jesse will finally get a view of him from below. Yup, that was a buttdial. ]
Huh? It's you. [ He rubs his eyes, yawning and ignoring the shouting for the most part. What is this guy's name though??? ] You want to chat at this hour?
[ Jesse lets him ramble, does nothing but watch him with worried eyes. ]
Right. You're right. [ Not just humoring him-- yes, there is death and rebirth and Haven. Yes, Cecil's contract with Yao will afford him special privileges, along with special consequences. Pointing that out now is, of course, a stupid idea. Jesse's hand finds Carlos' shoulder again, an awkward pat meant to guide him back to the present. ] In the meantime, why don't you clean up and get some rest?
[ Spoken with all the tact and sensitivity he can muster up, definitely a little awkward, but definitely genuine. ] It'll help.
Right. You're right. [ Not just humoring him-- yes, there is death and rebirth and Haven. Yes, Cecil's contract with Yao will afford him special privileges, along with special consequences. Pointing that out now is, of course, a stupid idea. Jesse's hand finds Carlos' shoulder again, an awkward pat meant to guide him back to the present. ] In the meantime, why don't you clean up and get some rest?
[ Spoken with all the tact and sensitivity he can muster up, definitely a little awkward, but definitely genuine. ] It'll help.
[ Oh god--it takes Jesse a second to put together the angle of Kamui's face appearing after staring in the void, but when he does there's such a frown on his own. Yep, that was probably a buttdial. His eyes roll and he rests his chin in his palm.
WHAT'S YOUR NAME, INDEED. Now it's just awkward. ]
Nah, you called me. By mistake, I think. Why you sleepin' with your phone in your pocket? Put it on the table like a normal person.
[ How to even... ]
WHAT'S YOUR NAME, INDEED. Now it's just awkward. ]
Nah, you called me. By mistake, I think. Why you sleepin' with your phone in your pocket? Put it on the table like a normal person.
[ How to even... ]
[It is sensitivity enough.
Carlos is a scientist, and a scientist is self reliant. He has always been this, he has never been anything else. It is new to him to have Cecil to rely on, to need to think of and consider, he does not think he is ready for his friends to be bastions of sympathy and sensitivity too.]
Clean?
[He's covered in blood. He barely noticed, and now that it has been drawn to his attention, he can't take his eyes off the sticky red fluid drying all over his hands.]
Yes, I will do that. Thank you. While I am gone, please... please continue to listen for me. When he returns, it will be over the airwaves, I know that much.
Carlos is a scientist, and a scientist is self reliant. He has always been this, he has never been anything else. It is new to him to have Cecil to rely on, to need to think of and consider, he does not think he is ready for his friends to be bastions of sympathy and sensitivity too.]
Clean?
[He's covered in blood. He barely noticed, and now that it has been drawn to his attention, he can't take his eyes off the sticky red fluid drying all over his hands.]
Yes, I will do that. Thank you. While I am gone, please... please continue to listen for me. When he returns, it will be over the airwaves, I know that much.
[ Whether he's ready or not, Jesse will continue to attempt to offer it. Carlos offered him help despite barely knowing him; he's not about to forget that anytime soon. ]
I'll stay right here. [ Radio's broken. When Cecil returns he'll be in his apartment, and if he chooses to broadcast anything, it'll be through the network. These are the facts that he won't point out. There's a soft edge to his voice, one that is trying to be reassuring. ] If I hear him, I'll tell you right away, okay?
[ It's not empty reassurance. As soon as Carlos leaves, Jesse will dig his phone out and watch for Cecil. But-- ]
You gonna be okay? Alone?
I'll stay right here. [ Radio's broken. When Cecil returns he'll be in his apartment, and if he chooses to broadcast anything, it'll be through the network. These are the facts that he won't point out. There's a soft edge to his voice, one that is trying to be reassuring. ] If I hear him, I'll tell you right away, okay?
[ It's not empty reassurance. As soon as Carlos leaves, Jesse will dig his phone out and watch for Cecil. But-- ]
You gonna be okay? Alone?
A scientist is self reliant.
[He murmurs the words by rote, in a voice which is dry and barren as the scrublands he misses dearly. He murmurs them as a half hearted reassurance that he will be fine alone, he murmurs a lie.
But he does not stay any longer to discuss it. He leaves Jesse with the radio hissing static, and he goes to the bathroom to wash away the evidence of Cecil's silent plea from his skin.]
[He murmurs the words by rote, in a voice which is dry and barren as the scrublands he misses dearly. He murmurs them as a half hearted reassurance that he will be fine alone, he murmurs a lie.
But he does not stay any longer to discuss it. He leaves Jesse with the radio hissing static, and he goes to the bathroom to wash away the evidence of Cecil's silent plea from his skin.]
[ It has been a long, long, looooooong day, and the sun is not even all the way to the center of the sky yet. A beautiful spring sun, white and glowing with a carelessly hollow center, and Cecil stares up at it.
It's been a few hours now, since... everything. He knows what he has to do, is determined what he will do. But... He is hesitating still. Because of Jonathan. Because of what Jonathan had said. And getting rid of him after had not been easy, had not be kind, and... Cecil is regretting it now. He is regretting it as he stares up at a cold and empty imperfect sun. And it's only when he stops staring, when he turns around to go back, to find Jonathan, to apologize and remind them both that they are not alone-- that he sees Jesse there. ]
Um...
[ Jesse has lost Carlos also, Cecil remembers; Jesse's face is obscured by a hollow white circle of light. He remembers Jesse is a friend of Carlos's, and Carlos... is gone. At least... Gone for five days. ]
I... Am sorry. I asked you to protect him, but... That was wrong. A scientist is... self-reliant. A scientist is... always fine, so... He did not need either of us protecting him, anyway. I know that, and... I should not have put that kind of impractical and false responsibility on you, his friend.
I'm sorry, Jesse.
It's been a few hours now, since... everything. He knows what he has to do, is determined what he will do. But... He is hesitating still. Because of Jonathan. Because of what Jonathan had said. And getting rid of him after had not been easy, had not be kind, and... Cecil is regretting it now. He is regretting it as he stares up at a cold and empty imperfect sun. And it's only when he stops staring, when he turns around to go back, to find Jonathan, to apologize and remind them both that they are not alone-- that he sees Jesse there. ]
Um...
[ Jesse has lost Carlos also, Cecil remembers; Jesse's face is obscured by a hollow white circle of light. He remembers Jesse is a friend of Carlos's, and Carlos... is gone. At least... Gone for five days. ]
I... Am sorry. I asked you to protect him, but... That was wrong. A scientist is... self-reliant. A scientist is... always fine, so... He did not need either of us protecting him, anyway. I know that, and... I should not have put that kind of impractical and false responsibility on you, his friend.
I'm sorry, Jesse.
[ When the body went away, that's when he knew Carlos would come back. When the body went away, that's when Jesse knew he'd have to go back to that room and sit alone with what he'd done. With everything that happened in just one, very long day. Not truly alone, because people are always milling about housing blocks, but he got so used to Carlos being around that he's scared to go back.
Without meaning to, without really thinking about it, he's following Cecil instead of going back. Like he's lost at sea and this is the only liferaft he can see right now. Cecil turns, begins speaking-- and it's too much. He presses fingertips to his eyelids and shakes his head. ] Yo, um...
[ He can't stand talking about it or hearing apologies from Cecil when he made a fatal error in that room, false responsibility or no. Where he comes from scientists are human, not completely self-reliant beings the way Carlos and Cecil talk about them, and sometimes they need other people to act quick on their behalves or save their lives. His hands move to his shoulders and he speaks past what Cecil is saying, urging past it with a shaky but stronger voice. ]
Can I, um, hang out with you? Go back to your place or wherever? Just, you don't gotta do anything, just... y'know.
[ Not even addressing it, in the end. Unspoken: he needs this, more than Cecil does. And he knows it. He knows exactly what will happen if he responds with it's fine, it's okay and fucks off on his own. He'll be snorting a line within the hour. ]
Without meaning to, without really thinking about it, he's following Cecil instead of going back. Like he's lost at sea and this is the only liferaft he can see right now. Cecil turns, begins speaking-- and it's too much. He presses fingertips to his eyelids and shakes his head. ] Yo, um...
[ He can't stand talking about it or hearing apologies from Cecil when he made a fatal error in that room, false responsibility or no. Where he comes from scientists are human, not completely self-reliant beings the way Carlos and Cecil talk about them, and sometimes they need other people to act quick on their behalves or save their lives. His hands move to his shoulders and he speaks past what Cecil is saying, urging past it with a shaky but stronger voice. ]
Can I, um, hang out with you? Go back to your place or wherever? Just, you don't gotta do anything, just... y'know.
[ Not even addressing it, in the end. Unspoken: he needs this, more than Cecil does. And he knows it. He knows exactly what will happen if he responds with it's fine, it's okay and fucks off on his own. He'll be snorting a line within the hour. ]
Edited 2014-06-21 00:48 (UTC)
I-- [ Hang out? Back to his place? Jesse said that? ] Um... [ Cecil blinks, and stutters, and is not sure what to do, or what to think, or what to think about doing.
He is not sure if Jesse is an actor, anymore. He is not sure if he is Aaron and he is living his life as a recovering drug addict, and if he is, then Cecil should and will respect that life choice. He should not think that this is all an act, because if that's the case... This is not an act. It's a life, and a choice to live a certain person's life, and Cecil should respect it. But it is just as possible that Jesse is not Aaron, or an actor. That he is not the Aaron Cecil knows, not the one from Night Vale or Hollywood... But from some other place or time where he is Jesse, and he needs help.
But... Whether Jesse is Aaron, or Jesse, or a third unknown person Cecil has no way to understand... He is Carlos's friend. He is Carlos's friend, and he does not want to be alone. ]
...Alright. [ Cecil agrees. He doesn't know what to do either, though. He had intended on contacting Doctor Kite. He cannot go back to his room, cannot go Carlos's room, or the lab. There is not much else Cecil does in his spare time that does not involve the radio or his phone, Carlos or Jonathan. There is no internet in Haven, after all. No Bowling Alley and Arcade Fun Complexes. No Big Rico's.
There are people to talk to, though. There is always... talking. ] We could go sit in the subway station for a while. Watch the monsters there, tell stories about who they are and what their families are like while trying to pretend that they and us are not the same.
...Is that okay?
He is not sure if Jesse is an actor, anymore. He is not sure if he is Aaron and he is living his life as a recovering drug addict, and if he is, then Cecil should and will respect that life choice. He should not think that this is all an act, because if that's the case... This is not an act. It's a life, and a choice to live a certain person's life, and Cecil should respect it. But it is just as possible that Jesse is not Aaron, or an actor. That he is not the Aaron Cecil knows, not the one from Night Vale or Hollywood... But from some other place or time where he is Jesse, and he needs help.
But... Whether Jesse is Aaron, or Jesse, or a third unknown person Cecil has no way to understand... He is Carlos's friend. He is Carlos's friend, and he does not want to be alone. ]
...Alright. [ Cecil agrees. He doesn't know what to do either, though. He had intended on contacting Doctor Kite. He cannot go back to his room, cannot go Carlos's room, or the lab. There is not much else Cecil does in his spare time that does not involve the radio or his phone, Carlos or Jonathan. There is no internet in Haven, after all. No Bowling Alley and Arcade Fun Complexes. No Big Rico's.
There are people to talk to, though. There is always... talking. ] We could go sit in the subway station for a while. Watch the monsters there, tell stories about who they are and what their families are like while trying to pretend that they and us are not the same.
...Is that okay?
[ Any other world, he'd ask if they could go grab a beer. Or anything, really. Haven's limited options do make it that much harder to stay clean, to keep occupied. Carlos gave him a vague job title to keep him occupied. He'd always thought his biggest hurdle would be the first time he ran out, and then it'd be done. But they give him more every time they knock him down. They know.
Well, fuck Matilda King and fuck Haven. He doesn't care how desperate he sounds, or seems, or ultimately... is. At some point he'd stopped being wary of Cecil and began to understand his broadcasts a little more. He's at Yao's mercy like the rest of them. Being stuck in between worlds, that's a thing Jesse can understand. Even if the beginning of their first conversation will always be a weird mystery to him.
There's a little sigh of something like relief when Cecil agrees. He rubs at his shoulders and nods, somewhat numbly. Cecil can take him to the subway station or walk around in circles, it doesn't really matter. He'll follow. He'll talk about anything, anything else but what just happened. ] Yeah, that's okay. That's cool.
[ Only... he bites at the corner of his mouth and shoots over a curious look. Him and Carlos both, they're bizarrely fearless people. Night Vale, when they talk about it, always sounds way too similar to Haven. That must be why. ]
You're not scared?
[ It slips out and it's vague. Murky and wrought with exhaustion, because he doesn't know what he's asking about exactly. Not scared of the monsters? Of turning into one of them? Of Haven? Of going to Doctor Kite? He doesn't elaborate.
But he is terrified of all those things. ]
Well, fuck Matilda King and fuck Haven. He doesn't care how desperate he sounds, or seems, or ultimately... is. At some point he'd stopped being wary of Cecil and began to understand his broadcasts a little more. He's at Yao's mercy like the rest of them. Being stuck in between worlds, that's a thing Jesse can understand. Even if the beginning of their first conversation will always be a weird mystery to him.
There's a little sigh of something like relief when Cecil agrees. He rubs at his shoulders and nods, somewhat numbly. Cecil can take him to the subway station or walk around in circles, it doesn't really matter. He'll follow. He'll talk about anything, anything else but what just happened. ] Yeah, that's okay. That's cool.
[ Only... he bites at the corner of his mouth and shoots over a curious look. Him and Carlos both, they're bizarrely fearless people. Night Vale, when they talk about it, always sounds way too similar to Haven. That must be why. ]
You're not scared?
[ It slips out and it's vague. Murky and wrought with exhaustion, because he doesn't know what he's asking about exactly. Not scared of the monsters? Of turning into one of them? Of Haven? Of going to Doctor Kite? He doesn't elaborate.
But he is terrified of all those things. ]
[ Cecil assumes at first, given the conversation, that Jesse means, 'Are you scared of the monsters in the tunnels.' But... Considering who and where and when they are, he wonders if Jesse means, 'Are you scared of a life without Carlos.' Being afraid of tunnel monsters, of Haven itself, of Doctor Kite, or of an uncertain inevitable end to his existence... None of those fears even occur to Cecil. They are old fears, immemorable fears - fear of monsters, of your surroundings, of torture, interrogation, and death by those in authority... They're childish fears, fears Cecil equates with spiders, or the dark. Fears he cannot ever remember having.
The other fear, though. The fear about Carlos... That is a more recent kind of fear. And that's the fear he addresses when he answers. ]
I... said to Jonathan earlier today that... the ones we love do not ever leave us. We never lose them, I told him. They are never gone. They are inside of us, in the changes they have made in us, in the hope we struggle to keep alive for their sake. They are never gone because we still love them. ...Whether they still loved us or not. We hold their memory protected in our hearts, and we will not ever stop fighting them to get them back. They are only lost from us when we stop fighting.
I am afraid that I have lost Carlos. I... am terrified of losing him, but... As long as I am fighting to get him back... I will never lose him.
Neither will you.
The other fear, though. The fear about Carlos... That is a more recent kind of fear. And that's the fear he addresses when he answers. ]
I... said to Jonathan earlier today that... the ones we love do not ever leave us. We never lose them, I told him. They are never gone. They are inside of us, in the changes they have made in us, in the hope we struggle to keep alive for their sake. They are never gone because we still love them. ...Whether they still loved us or not. We hold their memory protected in our hearts, and we will not ever stop fighting them to get them back. They are only lost from us when we stop fighting.
I am afraid that I have lost Carlos. I... am terrified of losing him, but... As long as I am fighting to get him back... I will never lose him.
Neither will you.
[ Bizarrely fearless people. They aren't afraid of any of the things Jesse keeps having nightmares about. Carlos faces danger head-on and has assured Jesse, over and over again, that it's fine; it's what he does, it's who he is. They aren't afraid of the dark unknowns or the hideous realities of Haven, but more impressive is this.
Cecil is able to come to sincere conclusions like this and verbalize them to Jesse, who hears each word like a loud drum, who is naturally brought back to the experience of losing the people he loved. Cecil loved, loves Carlos like that, and that is such a difficult thing on top of loss.
Brave words that strike at raw nerves. His lip trembles and the trembling travels to his fingers. Again he's pawing at his face, this time to rub away thin, blurry films of tears. He wants to blurt it out: he made a horrible, stupid mistake in that room, he not only failed to protect Carlos but is probably the reason he was killed. Guilt gnaws and nags, but he can't force the words out. He nods again, with more certainty as he lets his hands fall away and pinches his eyes shut on a deep exhale.
This is stupid. Carlos was, is his friend that he's known for a few months and he can't keep it together like Cecil is right now. But it's everyone, it's all the people he'll never see again and the ones he will in this impossible place. ]
I... I know why you asked me to do it. I know what you're gonna do next. [ Bright eyes attempt to lock onto Cecil's now. ] And that you're gonna do it alone. So what am I supposed to do?
[ Asked, again, more like he's wondering aloud, because he couldn't save Carlos and now he won't be able to save Cecil. Will it just loop like that? Endlessly? ]
Cecil is able to come to sincere conclusions like this and verbalize them to Jesse, who hears each word like a loud drum, who is naturally brought back to the experience of losing the people he loved. Cecil loved, loves Carlos like that, and that is such a difficult thing on top of loss.
Brave words that strike at raw nerves. His lip trembles and the trembling travels to his fingers. Again he's pawing at his face, this time to rub away thin, blurry films of tears. He wants to blurt it out: he made a horrible, stupid mistake in that room, he not only failed to protect Carlos but is probably the reason he was killed. Guilt gnaws and nags, but he can't force the words out. He nods again, with more certainty as he lets his hands fall away and pinches his eyes shut on a deep exhale.
This is stupid. Carlos was, is his friend that he's known for a few months and he can't keep it together like Cecil is right now. But it's everyone, it's all the people he'll never see again and the ones he will in this impossible place. ]
I... I know why you asked me to do it. I know what you're gonna do next. [ Bright eyes attempt to lock onto Cecil's now. ] And that you're gonna do it alone. So what am I supposed to do?
[ Asked, again, more like he's wondering aloud, because he couldn't save Carlos and now he won't be able to save Cecil. Will it just loop like that? Endlessly? ]
Edited 2014-06-21 08:10 (UTC)
Jesse? [ she doesn't wait for him to say anything - just keeps talking. ] Hey, one of the people in my room's gone, so there's this empty bed. And I just... was wondering if you wanted to take it?
You don't have to. It'd just be better if it's you than some stranger. And... then if bad shit happens, we don't have to find each other. [ she's bad at this. she's bad at taking sentimental stuff and making it sound practical, even when it is. really, she just gets nervous when the people she actually gets attached to live 24 houses away. it's kind of why she doesn't get attached in the first place, to be honest. ]
You don't have to. It'd just be better if it's you than some stranger. And... then if bad shit happens, we don't have to find each other. [ she's bad at this. she's bad at taking sentimental stuff and making it sound practical, even when it is. really, she just gets nervous when the people she actually gets attached to live 24 houses away. it's kind of why she doesn't get attached in the first place, to be honest. ]
Edited 2014-06-21 09:17 (UTC)
[ There is a man, a person in front of him. Not close enough to call a friend, but... He is a friend of Carlos. And that man, that person, that second-degree-friend is crying, and trying not to. He is rubbing his eyes and shaking. He is asking what he is supposed to do. He is sounding as if he is afraid to be alone.
...It is hard not to care. It is impossible not to care.
He wonders for a moment what to do, what is best. And when he decides not to do what is best, he looks at his hands, and his wrist. And he takes off his watch. ]
This... is the one true timepiece in Night Vale, as Carlos called it. I am not sure Carlos even knows what time, or truth, or timepieces really are, but... That is what he believed. It is significant to him. Important. Precious, and... He gave it to me for an anniversary of ours.
[ He takes one of Jesse's wrists, and he belts the watch on, looking at it as he does, going on and on, as he does. ] It is precious to me, also. I'd like you to hold onto it while I am gone, while Carlos is gone, until both of us are back. It is a symbol and a reminder that none of us is ever alone. I'd like you to hold onto it, to protect it, and to keep it safe.
[ It'll be a lot easier than keeping Carlos safe.... probably. He lets go and looks up at Jesse again. ] That is what you are going to do. You are going to remember. You are going to fight to survive, to hold onto that precious something. And you are not going to give up.
...And also you're going to go talk to monsters with me, for a while. You and I are not the only ones who need reminders of who and what we are, and the friends we have.
...It is hard not to care. It is impossible not to care.
He wonders for a moment what to do, what is best. And when he decides not to do what is best, he looks at his hands, and his wrist. And he takes off his watch. ]
This... is the one true timepiece in Night Vale, as Carlos called it. I am not sure Carlos even knows what time, or truth, or timepieces really are, but... That is what he believed. It is significant to him. Important. Precious, and... He gave it to me for an anniversary of ours.
[ He takes one of Jesse's wrists, and he belts the watch on, looking at it as he does, going on and on, as he does. ] It is precious to me, also. I'd like you to hold onto it while I am gone, while Carlos is gone, until both of us are back. It is a symbol and a reminder that none of us is ever alone. I'd like you to hold onto it, to protect it, and to keep it safe.
[ It'll be a lot easier than keeping Carlos safe.... probably. He lets go and looks up at Jesse again. ] That is what you are going to do. You are going to remember. You are going to fight to survive, to hold onto that precious something. And you are not going to give up.
...And also you're going to go talk to monsters with me, for a while. You and I are not the only ones who need reminders of who and what we are, and the friends we have.
[ He swallows the greeting he had in mind. It takes him a second to catch onto what she's offering, and she can't see it, but his eyes soften up. She doesn't think of him as some psycho after his freak-out session, and in fact, she wouldn't mind sharing her room. He's touched. He kinda wants to take her up on it. Clementine ended up helping him more than a little and he'd feel better to have her nearby too.
Only, he's also attached to certain roommates. ]
Hey, Clem, um, I would, except for... some people around here, you know? Dunno what the hell they'd do without me. [ Haha. Pause. ] I got an empty spot too. You wouldn't--?
Only, he's also attached to certain roommates. ]
Hey, Clem, um, I would, except for... some people around here, you know? Dunno what the hell they'd do without me. [ Haha. Pause. ] I got an empty spot too. You wouldn't--?
[ While it happens, Jesse glances between the watch being fastened to his wrist and Cecil's face, more than a couple of times. He swallows a lump in his throat. When Cecil lets go, he has to hold his wrist up and stare at it before he can formulate any type of reply. This is... a gesture he didn't expect. He touches the side of the watch with his other hand, deep furrows in his brow.
Eyes back on Cecil now and no less shiny. If he had any confidence that he could convince him not to do it, he might try. Take the path of least resistance and wait for Carlos to come back. Eyes back on the watch now. The one true timepiece he called it, and while that doesn't make sense to Jesse, all the rest does. A blinding amount of sense.
And you are not going to give up. ] I-- [ Speechless. Very speechless at first. ] Um...
I'll take good care of it. Promise. [ Then his voice picks up. A lot easier than keeping Carlos safe. But he's not an idiot. This is for him, something for him to focus on while Cecil and Carlos are both out. He looks back up again, this time with a sad little smile turning up the corner of his mouth. He reaches over to give Cecil an appreciative pat on the arm, a quick one, for this and for offering all those words. For agreeing to distract Jesse for an indeterminate amount of time with monsters and nonsense.
He's grateful, but the words to express that are lost to him at the moment. So he opts for silently expressing it. ]
You think they can hear us? [ Jesse starts for the subway station first. ] I always wonder how long it took 'em to turn.
Eyes back on Cecil now and no less shiny. If he had any confidence that he could convince him not to do it, he might try. Take the path of least resistance and wait for Carlos to come back. Eyes back on the watch now. The one true timepiece he called it, and while that doesn't make sense to Jesse, all the rest does. A blinding amount of sense.
And you are not going to give up. ] I-- [ Speechless. Very speechless at first. ] Um...
I'll take good care of it. Promise. [ Then his voice picks up. A lot easier than keeping Carlos safe. But he's not an idiot. This is for him, something for him to focus on while Cecil and Carlos are both out. He looks back up again, this time with a sad little smile turning up the corner of his mouth. He reaches over to give Cecil an appreciative pat on the arm, a quick one, for this and for offering all those words. For agreeing to distract Jesse for an indeterminate amount of time with monsters and nonsense.
He's grateful, but the words to express that are lost to him at the moment. So he opts for silently expressing it. ]
You think they can hear us? [ Jesse starts for the subway station first. ] I always wonder how long it took 'em to turn.
[ It is strange and amazing what death will do to a relationship. Even relationships that are not real, people who probably do not exist, brought together by a false and impermanent death. The world is a strange, amazing place.
Cecil follows in step, towards the subway. ]
Well, I have been here for nearly ten months. So... Longer than that, I guess. Longer than the people who have been here longer than me. ...Unless, of course, some of them are people we have known who have "disappeared." In which case "how long" is unknowable, and different for each of us.
...Anyway. There is no way for us to know. To know how long, to know who they were, to know whether they can hear us or not. But... It doesn't hurt to pretend, to guess, and to talk to them, anyway.
Cecil follows in step, towards the subway. ]
Well, I have been here for nearly ten months. So... Longer than that, I guess. Longer than the people who have been here longer than me. ...Unless, of course, some of them are people we have known who have "disappeared." In which case "how long" is unknowable, and different for each of us.
...Anyway. There is no way for us to know. To know how long, to know who they were, to know whether they can hear us or not. But... It doesn't hurt to pretend, to guess, and to talk to them, anyway.
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