IC CONTACT

[blowfish]

"Yo, there's no beep on this thing."

[ VOICE, VIDEO, ACTION ]

Comments

[kaihentai]

Bad blood! That's exactly it! It must be!

[Sakamoto clasps his hands together.]

Ah, but what kind of blood, I wonder.

Wade-kun's hatred of Spider-san is rather fierce! Passionate even.

[And speaking of passion...]

They might have gotten into a very intimate argument.

[blowfish]

[ Is it a fierce hatred? That's curious. What did Spiderman do to DP??? The Real Housewives of Haven discuss. ]

Maybe one 'a them spilled blood. Each other's or too close to home. Somethin' like that.

[kaihentai]

Blood? Ah, maybe, perhaps! That's a good guess!

[This real housewife puts his thinking cap on Upon close introspection (though he couldn't be farther from the point), Sakamoto gasps.]

Jessica-kun.

[A stagnant pause, followed by another faux-whisper.]

W-what if they've spilled other things?! Other bodily fluids.

1/????

[blowfish]

[blowfish]

[ dude wwwwhhYYY... ]

[blowfish]

[ That has to be the suggestion it sounds like. It can't mean anything else. Jesse moves the receiver away from his ear and rubs over once side of his face. Silence. Sakamoto might think that the line's gone dead. BUT THEN...!!! ]

[blowfish]

[ ... you know, knowing Wade, he's actually not sure. Jesse's voice returns, weak and questioning. Haven is breaking him. ]

You think Wade was gettin' his freak on with... Spiderman?

[kaihentai]

Who knows what kind of kinks he has.

[Wade's a mercenary. He's probably into pain! Spider bites?]

Have you seen that rump of his? God knows what you could do with that.

1/???????????

[blowfish]

[ OMG SAKAMOTO HE JUST RECOVERED FROM A GAY PANIC HEART ATTACK, BE GENTLE ]

[blowfish]

[ SPUTTERING ]

What the- what the hell, man, I ain't exactly grabbin' an eyeful on the regular!

doneforever

[blowfish]

[ INTERESTING WORDING maybe because it's kinda bullshit he has looked at that ass before. lord help... jesus...... ]

How'd we get into this?!

[kaihentai]

Hah?

[Jesse you've just incriminated yourself.]

How could you possibly miss it? It's so big!

[blowfish]

Think we could not talk about Wade's ass? [ LAST REQUEST FROM A DYING MAN ] Like, I'm not desperate enough yet to hold an entire fuckin' conversation about this.

1/2

[kaihentai]

Jess~i~ca-kuuuuuun!

[An excuse to use this icon.]

Some of the best things in life aren't set in stone! Like your whole entire future!

2/2

[kaihentai]

Aaaaand, in this case, your sexuality.

[blowfish]

What?

[ It's set. It's set in stone. It's set in hard concrete. It's set. ]

Dude, seriously. Not a homo.

[kaihentai]

[All Jesse will hear for a few seconds is Sakamoto clicking his tongue.]

H'oh! Look at you, getting all green around the gills. Calm down, don't panic! There's nothing to worry about. It's not like you had your very own private screening!

1/!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[blowfish]

[ GODDAMN IT SHIT SAKA YOUR TIMING IS THE FUCKING WORST ]

[blowfish]

[ Breathe, Pinkman. Breathe. You're not gay. There's nothing to flip out about if you're not gay. Remember... ]

SO FUCKING DONE

[blowfish]

... right. [ R I G H T that never happened. Sakamoto might be able to sniff straight through that pathetic lie. ] We got, uh, way off topic here. Wanna go back?

[ THE TOPIC WAS ABOUT TWO DUDES BONINg bUT IT WAS MARGINALLY BETTER THAN THIS ]

[kaihentai]

Ah.

[He's fucking giggling.]

Midnight screening?

[blowfish]

[ HE'S FUCKING GIGGLING ]

Fuck this.

[ Jesse is gone. He hung up. He dead,, Jim. ]

[kaihentai]

[Looks like Team Rocket's jacking off again...]