IC CONTACT

[blowfish]

"Yo, there's no beep on this thing."

[ VOICE, VIDEO, ACTION ]

Comments

[kaihentai]

Don't you think it was a little strange? Ah, right, right! Explanations, explanations! I have to explain.

[A sigh.]

Wade-kun seemed awfully upset about Newt's love for Spider-san. He seemed to take things very personally, almost as if he'd been hit by one of those long, hairy legs himself!

[blowfish]

[ A thoughtful pause. ]

He did, yeah. [ Of course Jesse was facebook stalking Wade... hey apparently he wasn't the only one. ] Maybe he knows the guy. Like, personally. They both run around all decked out in spandex and use pseudonyms.

[ Note to self: if returning to homeworld, remember to check if Deadpool comics exist. ]

[kaihentai]

Their outfits are strikingly similar! Eerily similar. Almost as if one was modeled after the other...

[Sakamoto strokes his dick chin with one hand.]

not here

[ishotyouuu]

[...Sakamoto for the love of christ tell your brackets not to make masturbation references when you're currently thinking about Wade and Peter]

[kaihentai]

[blowfish]

So what do you think it means?

[ IS SPIDERMAN A DEADPOOL GROUPIE? This is a fake geek guy, only watched the LOTR movies, never read the books, etc. Jesse massages his dick temple, tryna think. ]

Wade's pissed 'cos Spiderman copied him?

[kaihentai]

But, Wade-kun seems like that sort of person... "Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery." That kind of guy! There's has to be something more than that, something that runs deeper...

[blowfish]

[ Dude's got a point. ]

Bad blood?

[kaihentai]

Bad blood! That's exactly it! It must be!

[Sakamoto clasps his hands together.]

Ah, but what kind of blood, I wonder.

Wade-kun's hatred of Spider-san is rather fierce! Passionate even.

[And speaking of passion...]

They might have gotten into a very intimate argument.

[blowfish]

[ Is it a fierce hatred? That's curious. What did Spiderman do to DP??? The Real Housewives of Haven discuss. ]

Maybe one 'a them spilled blood. Each other's or too close to home. Somethin' like that.

[kaihentai]

Blood? Ah, maybe, perhaps! That's a good guess!

[This real housewife puts his thinking cap on Upon close introspection (though he couldn't be farther from the point), Sakamoto gasps.]

Jessica-kun.

[A stagnant pause, followed by another faux-whisper.]

W-what if they've spilled other things?! Other bodily fluids.

1/????

[blowfish]

[blowfish]

[ dude wwwwhhYYY... ]

[blowfish]

[ That has to be the suggestion it sounds like. It can't mean anything else. Jesse moves the receiver away from his ear and rubs over once side of his face. Silence. Sakamoto might think that the line's gone dead. BUT THEN...!!! ]

[blowfish]

[ ... you know, knowing Wade, he's actually not sure. Jesse's voice returns, weak and questioning. Haven is breaking him. ]

You think Wade was gettin' his freak on with... Spiderman?

[kaihentai]

Who knows what kind of kinks he has.

[Wade's a mercenary. He's probably into pain! Spider bites?]

Have you seen that rump of his? God knows what you could do with that.

1/???????????

[blowfish]

[ OMG SAKAMOTO HE JUST RECOVERED FROM A GAY PANIC HEART ATTACK, BE GENTLE ]

[blowfish]

[ SPUTTERING ]

What the- what the hell, man, I ain't exactly grabbin' an eyeful on the regular!

doneforever

[blowfish]

[ INTERESTING WORDING maybe because it's kinda bullshit he has looked at that ass before. lord help... jesus...... ]

How'd we get into this?!

[kaihentai]

Hah?

[Jesse you've just incriminated yourself.]

How could you possibly miss it? It's so big!

[blowfish]

Think we could not talk about Wade's ass? [ LAST REQUEST FROM A DYING MAN ] Like, I'm not desperate enough yet to hold an entire fuckin' conversation about this.

1/2

[kaihentai]

Jess~i~ca-kuuuuuun!

[An excuse to use this icon.]

Some of the best things in life aren't set in stone! Like your whole entire future!

2/2

[kaihentai]

Aaaaand, in this case, your sexuality.

[blowfish]

What?

[ It's set. It's set in stone. It's set in hard concrete. It's set. ]

Dude, seriously. Not a homo.

[kaihentai]

[All Jesse will hear for a few seconds is Sakamoto clicking his tongue.]

H'oh! Look at you, getting all green around the gills. Calm down, don't panic! There's nothing to worry about. It's not like you had your very own private screening!